May 2018 archive

Farther Along. Please Pray for Us

by

orange

When I leave a decided silence here I am even more reluctant to return. After all, this was a place to tell a story, and I became more weary of it than you ever could have, and I mostly quit. The narrative is in between these words. It’s in the painful place where I wrestle with my faith while my hip is screaming out of joint. I’ve been reading N.D. Wilson again.  And there’s this:

“Do not resent your place in the story. Do not imagine yourself elsewhere. Do not close your eyes and picture a world without thorns, without shadows, without hawks. Change this world. Use your body like a tool meant to be used up, discarded, and replaced. Better every life you touch. We will reach the final chapter. When we have eyes that can stare into the sun, eyes that only squint for the Shenikah, then we will see laughing children pulling cobras by their tails, and hawks and rabbits playing tag.” 

My in-laws visited this past weekend. They reminded me of a song I know because I love Josh Garrels, but I should know because I loved old bluegrass Gospel music before it was considered relevant or cool. How did I miss this poetry of God’s sovereignty?

Tonight I sit in early evening light filtered through virgin orange blossoms, and I ache. I’ve never been one to live well in the juxtaposition of the Grace I’ve been given held up to those who have never tasted or seen.

He is God.  I am not.  Oh, these lyrics.

Farther along we’ll know all about it
Farther along we’ll understand why
So cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We’ll understand this, all by and by

Tempted and tried, I wondered why
The good man dies, the bad man thrives
And Jesus cries because he loves em’ both
We’re all cast-aways in need of rope
Hangin’ on by the last threads of our hope
In a house of mirrors full of smoke
Confusing illusions I’ve seen

Where did I go wrong, I sang along
To every chorus of the song
That the devil wrote
like a piper at the gate
Leading mice and men down to their fate
But some will courageously escape
The seductive voice with a heart of faith
While walkin’ the line back home

There’s much more to life than we’ve been told
It’s full of beauty that will unfold
And shine like you struck gold my wayward son
That deadweight burden weighs a ton
Go down to the river and let it run
And wash away all the things you’ve done
Forgiveness, alright

Farther along we’ll know all about it
Farther along we’ll understand why
So cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We’ll understand this, all by and by

But still I get hard pressed on every side
Between the rock and a compromise
Like truth and a pack of lies fightin’ for my soul
And I’ve got no place left go
Cause I got changed by what I’ve been shown
There’s more glory than the world has known
Keeps me ramblin’ on

Skipping like a calf loosed from its stall
I’m free to love once and for all
And even when I fall I’ll get back up
For the joy that overflows my cup
Heaven filled me with more than enough
Broke down my levees and my bluffs
Let the flood wash me

And one day when the sky rolls back on us
Some rejoice and the others fuss
Cause every knee must bow and tongue confess
The Son of God is forever blessed
His is the Kingdom, and we’re the guests
So put your voice up to the test
Sing Lord, come soon

Farther along we’ll know all about it
Farther along we’ll understand why
So cheer up my brothers, live in the sunshine
We’ll understand this, all by and by

Forgive me for thinking my family and I could live this next chapter without your specific prayers. I never wanted to distract from the work God gave me in Option EDS – the retreat or the story I was telling over there. But I know better than to think my big God can only do one thing at a time with one heart and one life. I am asking you now. If you’ve ever prayed for us, please lift us up again tonight.

Dan. Monica. Delaney. Danica.

He knows. The Spirit groans. Farther along we will understand. Our Hope remains.

You might also like